You Bastard People
|Julia Doolittle was born in the rough suburbs of Los Angeles and would develop an apple juice addiction that would cripple her for the majority of her toddler-hood, a time she would later call "formative years I utterly wasted". But from struggle, greatness is born, and after recognizing her weakness, she kicked the habit in an effort to make something of what years she had left. (Her mother also stopped buying gallons of the crap, which probably explains how Julia didn't end up a childhood obesity statistic with enough holes in her teeth to out-do a golf course.)
Her later years would prove most successful, except in terms of money, fame, and sexual conquests. But she would become popular amongst those who protested the lack of sensible shoes featured in Harper's Bazaar, and found herself happily situated amongst enlightened folks who know eating a whole box of Kraft Macaroni and Cheese in one sitting is totally acceptable.
Currently, Julia studies theater at Sarah Lawrence College, but minors in cartoons, Japanese pornographic video games, sexy tragedy, and the finest techniques of ineffective flirting. Julia is the proud parent of three unfinished video games and a broken laptop mouse.
Julia is fifteen years sober, but there are days when she wavers. She struggles with moments of weakness where her demons return, telling her there's nothing wrong with a sip or two of Mott's after a hard day's work.